CD13 and no Jeremy?

I'm even more heart broken this morning as I just got my positive opk for this cycle.  That means today and tomorrow are my opportunity days for this egg.

The stress of all the harm done had pushed ovulation back.  I have a glimmer of hope, but that's what is making me sad.  It's only a glimmer. Due to manipulation and hate from a woman who doesn't care about anyone but herself.  I hate that Jeremy's stuck in the middle, but it also seems as he has lost his voice. And I possibly have lost the most.  My opportunity to be a mother and have a family.

Day after heartbreak

We can write our reasons and feelings in many letters. Still this may not heal the wound to the both of us.  I love you and know you are sensitive to how I feel.  Still right now the wound is still so fresh and new. And I must pick up pieces of my broken heart, dust them off and super glue them back together. The shape of my heart will never be the same, but it will be stronger and capable to trust, love, and give again.

Crushed

It's the end of the day and I'm as crushed now if not more than when Jeremy told me we would not be continuing this journey together.  My trust is so broken and i still want my baby.  It hurts I can't do this with my friend, but doesn't leave me many options.  Now all I really want is to fall asleep.

Devastating News but that seems to be the trend

Jeremy is now out of the picture.  I won't go into details because I'm too numb and hurt right now...

Good Read: it starts with the egg

This is a must read for 40+ women ttc!  We are always told we're a statistic with no hope and I believe that is such bullshit.  This book gives you a better view of what you can not do and what you can do for best egg quality.  

It's true no women likes to be reminded her age... That's not necessarily a vain thing.  Especially when you are trying to get pregnant.  We know are age and a remembrance by someone can be crushing and insulting as if we're some type of antique.  You are a jewel.  I am a jewel.  Don't give up and don't give in!

CD9- Labor Day 2016

No ovulation surge yet and in so happy as later in the week works best for me! Since my miscarriage in July, I tend to ovulate later. This month I can't get a hold of my midwife Jhoanna.  I know she's super busy, looks like I'm on my own this cycle; no iui. I'm calling Dr Gupta first thing in the morning to see if I can comeback and get an order for clomid and an ultrasound to keep watch on my lining. I know Jeremy is concerned and so am I.  It's frustrating if I let each roadblock get to me.  The one thing I can't change is my age, but honestly I font believe that is a problem.  I pray this cycle works and I carry to term.

Three Weeks and Five Days

Being pregnant again is so awesome and I pray and thank God for blessing me with the life growing inside me. Today is father's day and I am happy that J is the baby's father because he is just an awesome and wonderful person. It's amazing how our lives crossed and now we're welcoming life into ours.