Insensitive

Insensitivity runs amok amongst us.  Sometimes it's easy to brush off and other times it isn't. 

My family tends to be insensitive. They treat my pregnancy as if it wasn't one and my misscarrage as if it didn't happen and two months later doesn't still hurt me. 

I think it is wise of me to put distance where frustration lives and sadly that distance is from those who fail to be sensitive.

And We Danced

I am so blessed to have Jeremy in my life.  This journey would not be as important to me had it not been for this giving man with the beautiful heart.  Only time will tell regarding little one gracing this world with his/her presence

This cycle - CD14

I ovulated on cd 12 before my July mc and since then later.  This week has been very stressful for my partner and me.  I took Black cohosh since cd 1 and had my first positive opk yesterday but we couldn't get bd in yesterday but will in a few hours and again tomorrow.  I realize due to the stress this cycle is not at its optimum. But every month is a chance and my ovulation pains are more intense

Happy Again

Jeremy and I are back on. I'm happy because I care about him so much and want this baby with him❤️

CD13 and no Jeremy?

I'm even more heart broken this morning as I just got my positive opk for this cycle.  That means today and tomorrow are my opportunity days for this egg.

The stress of all the harm done had pushed ovulation back.  I have a glimmer of hope, but that's what is making me sad.  It's only a glimmer. Due to manipulation and hate from a woman who doesn't care about anyone but herself.  I hate that Jeremy's stuck in the middle, but it also seems as he has lost his voice. And I possibly have lost the most.  My opportunity to be a mother and have a family.

Day after heartbreak

We can write our reasons and feelings in many letters. Still this may not heal the wound to the both of us.  I love you and know you are sensitive to how I feel.  Still right now the wound is still so fresh and new. And I must pick up pieces of my broken heart, dust them off and super glue them back together. The shape of my heart will never be the same, but it will be stronger and capable to trust, love, and give again.

Crushed

It's the end of the day and I'm as crushed now if not more than when Jeremy told me we would not be continuing this journey together.  My trust is so broken and i still want my baby.  It hurts I can't do this with my friend, but doesn't leave me many options.  Now all I really want is to fall asleep.