Big Ho

So I just had my intravaginal ultrasound and all I can say is... I must be a big ho LOL! The examiner said I would feel pressure and to let her know if it hurt.... didn't feel any pain lol... I actually couldn't even feel the probe LOL! Results will be back in 5 business days to tell me more about what my uterus is looking like and how thick the lining is. I also got insurance that Dr. Gupta takes so I'm soooo HAPPY!!!

Dr.Gupta is truly the BEST! I'm so blessed to have found a doctor who truly cares about my needs. True I once felt Dr. Mba did, but having gone from a doctor who simply said, "You're old" to one who says, "I can help you" is wonderful! My Pap results from last week came back all clean and clear!!!! Dr. Gupta sent me for blood labs today and after being pricked twice, the lovely phlebotomist Susan got my blood sample. I have been fasting all day and I'm starving so I stopped for some clam strips YUMMM! I'm leaving at 3pm to get an ultrasound... I have to drink lots of water.... not looking forward to that... my lap band tummy only hold so much :)

Resolve to going solo...

So far on this journey I've had the accompany of others, but think that it's best just left to B and me. Add too many people into the equasion and things tend to get ugly and complicated. My friends have busy lives and I can't honestly expect them to be there to hold my hand. So I'm working on a couple of things to help me so I can carry on, just me B and the baby soon to come :) xo Desi

Cycle Day Two Under Way

Going back to work after a week off. That was a very nice sabbatical! I'm starting my day out with the Word of God to strengthen me and I've made a nutri-smoothie to fuel me :) This morning's smoothie is a bunch of spinach, black grapes, red grapes and frozen mango with water.... simple and good. I'll sip it on the drive to Redlands this morning. I've got my other supplements in my back along with some green tea. Thing to do today is to DRINK LOTS OF WATER :) I'm excited!!!! xo Desi

And Cycle Four Begins

Aunt Flo showed up today.... I had expected her so it's not a big surprise like last month. Looks like my cycle is back to 24/25 days... We're trying again for our baby so stay tuned. What's different this time is I'm not obsessing. I'm temping CD3 and on vaginally... I'm still supplementing and going to really work on my water. I should be ovulating on or about November 3rd. One thing I'm happy about is my nutribullet! I'm mixing up maca and royal jelly in it everymorning with my fertility smoothie :) My back is HURTING so bad and cramps are coming on so I'm no doubt gonna take advantage of that last vicodin tonite :) xo Desi

Not what I want to hear...

As I waited downstairs for the lab to open to take my second blood test, The nurse from upstairs pulled me aside and upstairs and told me I was no longer pregnant... I'm grieving, I'm heartbroken and I'm so very hurt. I go back to my doctor tomorrow and we need to have a serious talk. I feel had my doctor been more available to me, I would still be carrying my baby. Had I been able to test on the day I first had my positive, it may have been discovered my hcg levels were too low and I may have been prescribed progesterone supplement to give my baby a chance. It may be time for a new doctor if she can not be more accomodating. B wants to continue to try and so do I. I'm not giving up on my desire to be a mom.

No News is Good News...

So it's 7:36 pm and as I finish watching the debate, I think about my no call from Dr. Mba and I think... well her office said they're waiting for the results of tomorrow's test... But what thought crossed my mind is... well if they got a BFN on the blood test, I'm sure I would have gotten a call... I mean why draw more blood right? I remain in faith and believing God for my desire, my baby, my child. So how have I been feeling? well I had a bit of a headache on and off and I'm feeling quite warm. I've also had tuggings and feelings in my abdomen including a few sharp pins and I was dizzy/nauseaus while walking in Target on my lunch hour. Lord I thank you for my baby :) Shalom, Desi