What is this???

Yesterday at work one little spot and that's it.... this morning a negative test and still blood, not a lot, but blood. Dammit if my period is coming on just do it... I hate this!

My Bbt Break Up

Today is cd24 12dpo and the day I suspect AF will try to show.  I'm so unsure of my expectations but my prayer has been she stays away and tomorrow I get my BFP.  We'll see.  Here we go again....

Changing Verses

Today is such an odd day... I've been knocking around some new ideas in my head... I saw my temp drop this morning and it agitated me a bit feeling out yet again. I'm no longer temping for my own sanity. I'm not due to test until Tuesday when AF is expected. My prayer of course is that she doesn't show and I get a BFP when I test. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared of disappointment again. I'm trying to be faithful that God will bless me regardless of how I went about to have this baby. I've been a bit foggy lightheaded today, but not reading much into it. If I am to go another cycle I'm adding a back up into rotation. My goal is to inseminate as much as possible per cycle because I won't be temping at all. This of course changes my love song to my child. But I'm doing this for love all together. I want my child and love my child already.

That old familiar feeling

After so many cycles, it's shameful that I am so familiar with this feeling of af on her way.... I just wanna cry! I totally felt that we times correctly, but for some reason this is just taking longer than I had hoped... IT bothers me because I'm not giving up and feel like I should. I want to move on and have my baby and God always seems to be standing in my way. What happend to my free will to want to be a mom? Why has this been taken away from me?

Pineapple Core

Just cut and ate my first piece of pineapple core. It wasn't as chewy as I thought and was sweet.  I guess I picked a pretty ripe pineapple :)

All Done!

Hooray! Cycle there's Baby Dancing is done! I'm praying and believing for a healthy happy baby in August of next year! #ibelieveinthepowerofprayer

Afternoon Delight

Today is the second day bd during the fertile days and what's super weird is last night when I checked my cervix it was medium soft with (excuse my tmi) gobs of egg white cm.  this morning when I checked she's high and soft and cm was quite scant but you know how you can fell the wetness? That's how I feel.

Well we'll find out shortly when he comes home for a nooner :)

Baby Dance Day Two

I'm sitting off the freeway ha ing some chick fil a before I hit that long road for NI with my goofy friend Kyle  lol!

We really wanna get pregnant and this is our third cycle trying. 

My cervix is high and soft but the cm is too scant to tell anything, but last night u had egg white.  I can't really drink a lot of water since I'm on the road... I'm praying for a baby this cycle!!!

Now I better go in this gas station and go pee and go see Kyle :) #feelingmommy

BD Week

I'm praying I timed BD well this week. My chart loooks different... not what I'm use to, but I had positive OPK results last night, this morning and this afternoon. BD yesterday and going for another go tomorrow.

It's BD Week!

It's Baby Dancing Week and I hope to NI twice this fertile window with Kyle. 

One very important thing for me is to get in the water and increase CM. 

New cycle day 2

Day two and yes this us a period unlike last month... Only diff is I have this wicked headache on top of bitch cramps😒

I'm adding l arginine for my uterine blood flow. I'm still concerned my periods are so scant.  Also adding fish oil back in the mix. The health food store didn't have the Raspberry Leaf, but I got Yogi Moon Cycle Tea that has Raspberry Leaf in it.  My cramps are kicking my ass and I'm drinking this tea now!

NI this cycle will cover fertile cycle every other day starting next Sunday.  I'm trying my best to take it as easy and less stressful as possible.  I want this cycle to be the one that brings forth my baby

Ode to Black Friday

I cooked so much yesterday and barely was able to eat 3/4 of a cup without throwing up.

Thought this morning was different but very tired and slept in and having some pelvic twinges.. Tried to eat some dressing and corn pudding ( my faves) and just had to throw up :/

On top of that I have a MADDENING headache so.... There goes my online Black Friday shopping!

And the Results are in

Got my results from last week's pap and biopsy and all is Normal! Yaaay... now what about my baby????

Test Now?

I'm so over my bbt chart looking a HOT mess.... I've decided to test in the morning if my temp doesn't drop or rise.... it's really crazy? Am I expecting a positive.... idk what I'm expecting at this point.

Still Puzzled

To this day I'm still so puzzled by my bbt chart. If that was a period today would be CD 11 or 12.  I had right side ovulation pain last night, but my temps are so low!  I have to go back to vaginal temping next cycle....

My ultrasound is Saturday and I expect happy news!  I actually dreamt during the ultrasound, the tech asked me how far along am I!  I know I'm dreaming!!! I do expect to find out from it and the biopsy that everything is good.  Now to talk with Kyle about new cycle!!!

The day after

Pain from yesterday's visit. An ectopic is never easy....

But it's not final and doesn't mean I did anything wrong; if anything it's assurance that I am fertile myrtle!

One thing I am going to do is relax.  Dr Warren said no sex for ten days so we're gonna skip this next cycle.  I'm also going to begin my weight loss for fertility. In tall and may carry it well, but I'm a good 42 lbs overweight, so I'm going to lose 44 and get back on my fertility to help me conceive in the next few months.  I know I can do it!!!

Also I'm putting in for two days off next cycle and will bd with Kyle every other day following the end if my period.

Time to put new plans in order. We're both ready! Plus like I said before, "I'm too cute not to procreate!" And Kyle was such a cute kid too, I can just imagine the cuteness of lil sug'!!!

A sad morning

Sadly bfn.  Dr did a pap and biopsy of endo. Says looks like I have a fibroid near my cervix.  Will have ultrasound next Saturday. Kaiser will not treat me for fertility due to my age.  I just can't stop crying...

Let's go to the Dr and see What's Up...

On my way to the dr.... spotting continued for the three days and yesterday I felt a painful tug on my breast and pinch

ings all day... this morning nothing and my temp has gone done to 98 F.... still over coverline, but I'm so tired of bbt honestly. Fairy dust all! I hope for good report saying I'm pregnant!

Meh....

I want so badly for things to go the way I want them too. This blog is all about my desire and journey to become a mom and while I'm not giving up... I sure wish things could be easier. My Dr's appointment is Tuesday morning. I want to take a test to see if I'm pregnant and this has all been implantation and or a light period.... I don't feel any other symptoms, but starting to believe you can't really trust symptoms anyway :( I'll be sure to tell Dr. that I had spotting that suddenly stopped.... today is very much like that day which means the most flow... which was so little was yesterday. I want an ultrasound of my uterus regarding implantation and check my estrogen and progesterone level Ann is such a dear friend, she is keeping me encouraged that this happens in early pregnancy. I'm so fortunate to have her as my sister and friend! Rob... is I don't know... I opened my heart to this man and he above any other totally broke it.

Looks like CD3

Idk but may be light period :(

No cramps and blood looks fresh and on toilet paper; very little in toilet.  Period smell. Was I getting my hopes up?  Could I still be pregnant and had spotted then my period started. What about that dropped temp this morning? Anyway planning for next cycle.  As much as I hate missing this one I may have to to get days off to do four strait days the beginning of December and maybe the day before this coming cycle... About a week from today... Still hoping for good news at Drs that I'm pregnant.  Friday was just weird and I usually bleed flowing and it doesn't just stop like that day.

I'm hoping this is Implantation 101

Cramps are still not as hurtful as last month but I can feel kinda a dull ache in my uterus.... Still praying for implantation and hoping I'm not stressing over this... “Implantation bleeding (also known as spotting) usually lasts for a couple of days but every woman is different, so how long it lasts can vary. Sometimes it’s less than a day, occasionally it’s longer than a couple of days,” says Dr Rob Hicks. So far mine has been off and on since yesterday... “It’s believed to occur when the fertiised egg attaches to the womb lining. The bleeding is usually lighter than a period, and also happens before the time a period would normally have come,” adds Rob. Bleeding has definitely been lighter than my period and arrived two days early. Implantation bleeding is when the blastocyte (what the ball of cells is called before it becomes an embryo) implants itself into the lining of your womb. It can cause irritation and movement to the lining, which you’ll notice as spotting in your chonies, and you may even experience slight cramping or soreness. OH YEAH FEELING THAT NOW! It occurs at around four weeks of pregnancy (RIGHT WHERE I AM), which is why many moms-to-be sometimes mistake it for menstruation. Occasionally moms-to-be can continue to have a light period for the first month or two after they get pregnant, so it’s worth taking a pregnancy test around the time your first period is due. If the bleeding becomes painful or particularly uncomfortable, you should seek out medical advice. I'm seeing my DR Tuesday and want a blood test done Here's what some ladies have to say: SammyJayden “My first pregnancy I had implantation bleeding for five days, and during my second pregnancy it lasted only a few hours” fall3n-ang3l “I had bleeding for three days and at first I thought it was my period coming. I started to suspect I was pregnant when I didn’t get cramps or anything, and the blood was brown in colour" wannaother “I experienced spotting with one of my children (I have four), and it was a very odd experience. It seemed to start off quite red, fade to pink and then to brown, and I had some light stomach cramps” hi i am 7weeks+3 days and i had bleeding for about 3days, shortly before i found out i was preg, where i didnt have any period type pains or symptoms, i thought this was my period coming and started to suspect i might be preg when i didnt get cramp or anything.( it was also pink one day and brown the others, sorry a bit too much info!) i think it is 2 weeks after this bleeding you can find out if youre preg, but i might be wrong. i would recommend clear blue digi tests becuase for me they said posotive a good few days before any other brands. hope you get a bfp anyway let us know x hi sirry just thought id change waht i said cause i just realised yu had got a positive result already, im so silly but anyway hope the rest of what i said was helpful to you...must be my pregnancy mushing my brain!!! It's hard to judge with temping since I don't fully trust them, but I've had high temperatures! Last night my boobs were also quite tingly and this morning my nipples are darker too... I'm still too scared to take a HPT and will leave that for the DR visit...

Does this have to be so difficult?

Woke up and temped.... Almost so over bbt....

Well TMI:

Blood on pad was still way scant than my normal period... Which btw is suppose to start Sunday.  There was light blood in bowl. Praying its still just implantation.  Again waiting...

Don't count me out just yet

Okay if you're squeamish, here's your disclaimer: this post is extremely TMI.

Thought it was a light period, but only a little on pad and then later in the day none when I looked in bowl. At night tingly breasts and when I went to the bathroom clear urine and what looked like a long clear strand of discharge.

It's very possible I was spotting and not starting my period.  This makes me very happy, I'm still taking things day by day.  I'm up at 12:30 am watching CatDog and really need to get to sleep!  Set my FF chart back! We'll chart tomorrow and see where things stand.  

I won't cry now...

...but I will when I get home.  Aunt Flo reared her ugly head... I still have my Drs appointment Tuesday.  I wanna know why I'm struggling now!!! God all I want is my baby!!! Are You even listening....

Morning cramps on CD23 11dpo

Feels like AF :( still no sign of her and hate to get my hopes up to crash to another BFN

Pretty

Today I feel especially Pretty :)

Yummy in my tummy!!

I'm sooo enjoying the Chicken soup Annie made me!  On my lunch break enjoying time away and thinking about the life that may be forming in me right now!!!

My temps jumped this morning and my prayer is that implantation not only took place but is successful!!

The crazy feelings if tww

It's CD 22 10dpo... good Lp. Not so sure about this cycle and that can drive me crazy!

Temping has been a mess with this cold, plus my sleep pattern is interrupted by having to pee so much.  

Bbt hasn't been so great.  I have full cramps since last night with a mild back ache.... AF is due Friday or Saturday and I hope she doesn't show!  I hope these are signs I'm pregnant and not getting ready to host AF.  We'll see.  Lord knows I been down this road before!   I'm gonna keep trying, but really want thus to be it so I can just nurture and care for the baby and breathe a little better.  Anxiety is a booger

Sleep N Eat

All I wanted to do today is sleep and eat... sleep all day since waaaay early in the afternoon and eat clams.... Okay so I'm not a symptom girl and I'm not about to hype myself up, just pray that this is my baby and I'll find out I am indeed pregnant in a week.

Hmmm Maybe this Cold is a Good Thing!

Could it be that this cold is helping me conceive??? Well, there's not much online on the subject...probably not many studies done on it :) I did find some people swearing having a cold (or other minor sickness) increased their chances of getting pregnant due to the following reasoning: 1) when your immune system is down it increases the chances of sperm survival (because normally your immune system attacks sperm) 2) sometimes CM can increase when sick. Of course this all assumes ovulation hasn't been affected by the sickness. There are stories of couples who have tried for years and got pregnant when they were sick... so who knows. Guess we'll find out! :)

CD18 6DPO

I've been experiencing some pinchings in my pelvic are that may be or may not be implantation. The egg stays in the fallopian tube for about 3 to 4 days. But within 24 hours of being fertilized, it starts dividing fast into many cells. It keeps dividing as it moves slowly through the fallopian tube to the uterus. Its next job is to attach to the lining of uterus. This is called implantation. Some women notice spotting (or slight bleeding) for 1 or 2 days around the time of implantation. The lining of the uterus gets thicker and the cervix is sealed by a plug of mucus. It will stay in place until the baby is ready to be born. Within 3 weeks, the cells begin to grow as clumps, and the baby's first nerve cells have already formed. My temp is still above the coverline and dropped a bit this morning.

I'm just trying to relax and stress less :) I'm studying for my Insurance exam.

What a BLAST!

Kyle likes his berry blast before dtd well for me five days after ovulation I like my Pineapple Blast :) There's no proof that the pineapple other than the core is beneficial to implantation, but this is yummier anyways... I limit it to 1 to 5 days past ovulation only and also take bromelain tabs twice a day *on empty tummy for the tabs* This yummy shake has a bunch of spinach, mango, pineapple, flax seeds, brown sugar, plain greek yogurt, almond milk and I was putting a banana in, but guess what? Banana is not a warming food and after ovulation I shoot for warming foods primarily! So I use avocado... probably not a warming food either, but great for fertility:) What are the benefits for fertility? spinach: Spinach is a super-food that provides the body with an enormous amount of healthy vitamins and nutrients that are important for fertility and pregnancy. Spinach is rich in iron and folic acid, two nutrients which are important to reproduction and fetal health. Folic acid is important in preventing neural tube defects in the fetus, and iron helps to promote oxygen levels in cells, organs and the fetus. mango: Rich in zinc. In women, zinc plays a vital role in many key reproductive health areas including: Egg production: a woman’s body needs a certain amount of zinc to produce mature eggs that are ripe for fertilization Maintaining proper follicular fluid levels: without enough fluid in the follicles, an egg can not travel the course through the fallopian tubes and into the uterus for implantation. Hormone regulation: zinc is just one of the minerals that the body uses to keep hormone levels (like estrogen, progesterone and testosterone) levels stable throughout the entire menstrual cycle. It is especially important during stage 2 and 4 of a woman’s cycle. Low levels of zinc have been directly linked to miscarriage in the early stages of a pregnancy, according to The Centers for Disease Control’s Assisted Reproductive Technology Report which tracks the results of numerous fertility research reports being administered throughout the nation. Here is another reason why women should get enough zinc: it can help to reduce the size of fibroids. Since fibroids are a cause of infertility themselves, doing what you can to reduce their size can help to make getting pregnant easier for some women. Taking just 30 mg of zinc a day may help to decrease the size of inflamed fibroids; thus increasing the chance for a pregnancy to occur. pineapple: Pineapples are loaded with an enzyme called bromelain; an enzyme that can produce some pretty incredible effects when ingested in the right amounts flax seeds: flax seeds are a powerful package for balancing hormones and boosting fertility. brown sugar: warming food plain greek yogurt: IDK almond milk: IDK avocado: Scientists believe that monounsaturated fats, which are well known both to the heart, can increase fertility by decreasing inflammation in the body. Any case... this is one yummy drink!

In search of sticky lil bean

Cycle Day 15 3dpo Felling a dull kinda pain in my pelvic area... not really crampy, but definitely uncomfortable. I'm still trying to get over this cold... tired. I learned not to put a whole lot into symptoms... the body won't always tell you what's going on and the built up anticipation is exhausting. I pray that when I test I learn that I am pregnant... I know what both a BFP and BFN feels like... I want to experience another BFP with a healthy pregnancy and little baby... To aid with implantation and uterine lining I'm taking Bromelain twice a day and I'm gonna mix up a yummy spinach, mango, pineapple smoothie for lunch! Pineapple is suppose to help with implantation... specifically the core, but I only have the yummier part LOL Bromelain helps with both implantation and lining... Bottom line I want a sticky lil bean :)

BBT charting with a cold

Ugh. No doubt about it, I'm sick. Sore throat, stuffy, coughing, headache, sneezing... This is the first time I am charting through an illness. Things have just been crazy since last Wednesday... my roommate came home with a bad cold and I picked it up sometime over the weekend. I just know it affected my bbt charting because I had a big dip and then huge rise way too early. I'm very routine, I ovulate on the 12th or 13th cycle day always.... Antyways last night was miserable... I had a fever and couldn't get rid of this dang headache... so I finally broke down and took two Tylenol... now I'm staying home from work and watching Sitting Ducks and trying to feel better. Good thing is Friday I started taking Mucinex... it's also good for thinning out CM and I know had I not taken it I would feel worse now... I just hope I didn't give Kyle my cold!!!! I'd feel terrible! This is a really nasty bug, yesterday was the worst day so far, body aches and all. I hope to be on the upswing really soon here! how it can affect BBT depends on your cold and how you temp... if its a head cold and you are all stuffy but temp orally... it could be lower because you are mouth breathing when you sleep. if you have a bit of a fever it could raise your temp (well obviously)

Home Sweet Home

Home from a LONG 12 hour day :) Glad it's over.... I just took another opk and it was semi positive faint line so I believe we caught the egg! Now the two week wait and to stay as happy and stress free as possible Kinda hard when you get ugly text messages about your priorities, but I know them and I did nothing wrong today. I'm gonna sit here and enjoy my V8 splash with oj and hope this nasty tickle in my throat goes away! Thanks so much to Ann for your support! Jenn for your wonderful heart! and Kyle for the sperm! No LOL Kyle you're such a sweet friend and I'm so glad you have a giving heart! Tired now (in my Willow Rosenberg voice) Desi

NIi- Baby Making Day

Excited to get today going! Was a bit concerned about ovulation and my crazy ass temps that dipped a few days ago and this morning sky rocketed.... grrr! But my opk gave me an instant positive today! How weird is that????? So I wanna get this done now but it's like five thirty in the morning LOL Thankful that Ann is driving... I'm way too excited. We'll meet up with Jenna to shoot my blog part of the show and then off to Kyle's to do the deed!!! It's funny thinking back to my interview and the question why NI.... Why not, sex is pleasurable and intended for the purpose of bringing forth children... That's my goal and that's Kyle's goal above all things. With my so called boyfriend not into me, why not have sex with this good looking guy anyway? Let's get to baby making!!!

NI tomorrow and this crazy cycle

Having irregular cycles suck for ttc... especially with a donor who live so far away!

New Cycle... New Supplements

Cycle Days 1-13 (or ovulation) 6oz pomegranate juice mixed: 1x/day, sometimes added to a smoothie 6oz red raspberry leaf tea: 2x/day, mid-morning and mid-afternoon Evening Primrose Oil Chopped Fresh Garlic Cloves: 2x/day Entire Cycle/Daily 400iu Vitamin E: 1x/day, mid-morning Vitamin B Complex: 1x/day, mid-morning B6 2X/day Pre-Natal vitamin Tropical Fertility Smoothie: To kick off the TWW Ingredients Frozen Pineapple (I buy it from the Produce section... it's fresh and I don't have to cut it :) I freeze it too... I don't use the Core... I'm already taking Bromelain so it's good. I just add it for a bit of sweetness! 1/2 banana, peeled and sliced (frozen) Sometimes I'll use Avocado 3/4 cup vanilla almond milk (Bennys to Almond Milk Kiddos!) 1 T coconut oil 1 small handful of baby spinach When I am really LAZY... and it does happen... I'll pick up the smoothie kit from Fresh & Easy Blend it up, add some extra ice if it’s not cold enough for your liking, and enjoy! The point of this fertility smoothie is to encourage your body to be receptive to implantation, so it’s best to enjoy this every day during the five days after ovulating. What a tasty way to kickoff the two-week-wait! A few notes… Banana contains 25% of your daily value of vitamin B6, which apparently also increases cervical mucus to aid in implantation. B6 is tied with increasing fertility. Coconut oil promotes hormone balancing and supports adequate fat stores for pregnancy. Baby spinach is highly recommended in any fertility diet! It’s loaded with iron, which is good for the blood, and as we all know, we need good, happy blood pumping to the uterus for implantation.

Yesterday Sucked...

I really thought I was pregnant again... I felt it. I was lightheaded and felt prickings in my womb that I thought were implantation. Once again, AF reared her ugly head. Thousands of thoughts went through my head... what am I doing wrong? Why is this not happening? But as much as I'm discouraged, I intend to continue on. Kyle is 23 and yes that makes me a cougar, but okay LOL! We've agreed we're gonna continue trying and I'm going to work on a few things myself. I have health insurance now so first things first, I'm making an appt for a pap and to discuss a few things with my new Dr.: Uterine lining, follicles.... i wanted to purchase a FSH test by first response, but couldn't find one.... so I'll try again for next cycle since today is CD2... I did see a grip of ovulation tests at the dollar store so I bought up and will start testing for ovulation right after my period ends... I'm wondering if I'm ovulating late or early... only way to tell my guess is to test every day until I get a definite signal... To ensure uterine lining I'm drinking 6 oz os pomegranate juice every day and simplifying my regimine. I'll still take b6 twice a day to lengthen my cycle, but for uterine healthy I'm adding vitamin E, Red raspberry Leaf tea, and Pom juice. I'm gonna blog more too... I need a record for myself. I don't share much what I'm doing becaue not everyone is gonna support or want what you want...