Chemical pregnancy

Back to cycle day one😕

We're Pregnant Again!!

A baby is on the way and I'm soooo excited!!!!

I have a blood test scheduled Monday and starting progesterone suppositories!

Right now I'm doing progesterone cream.  Here's to a happy healthy wonderful baby in June 2017❤️

A Quarter to 4 am

It's not even 5 am and I'm thinking about what to order for lunch....

Cycle Day 10

It's 3:33 in the morning and I'm awake and soon will leave for J's.  This morning is baby making day two in this fertile week. I'm kind of sleepy, but we do what we do to have this beautiful child❤️ 

There will be time to sleep afterward💤

Insensitive

Insensitivity runs amok amongst us.  Sometimes it's easy to brush off and other times it isn't. 

My family tends to be insensitive. They treat my pregnancy as if it wasn't one and my misscarrage as if it didn't happen and two months later doesn't still hurt me. 

I think it is wise of me to put distance where frustration lives and sadly that distance is from those who fail to be sensitive.

And We Danced

I am so blessed to have Jeremy in my life.  This journey would not be as important to me had it not been for this giving man with the beautiful heart.  Only time will tell regarding little one gracing this world with his/her presence

This cycle - CD14

I ovulated on cd 12 before my July mc and since then later.  This week has been very stressful for my partner and me.  I took Black cohosh since cd 1 and had my first positive opk yesterday but we couldn't get bd in yesterday but will in a few hours and again tomorrow.  I realize due to the stress this cycle is not at its optimum. But every month is a chance and my ovulation pains are more intense

Happy Again

Jeremy and I are back on. I'm happy because I care about him so much and want this baby with him❤️

CD13 and no Jeremy?

I'm even more heart broken this morning as I just got my positive opk for this cycle.  That means today and tomorrow are my opportunity days for this egg.

The stress of all the harm done had pushed ovulation back.  I have a glimmer of hope, but that's what is making me sad.  It's only a glimmer. Due to manipulation and hate from a woman who doesn't care about anyone but herself.  I hate that Jeremy's stuck in the middle, but it also seems as he has lost his voice. And I possibly have lost the most.  My opportunity to be a mother and have a family.

Day after heartbreak

We can write our reasons and feelings in many letters. Still this may not heal the wound to the both of us.  I love you and know you are sensitive to how I feel.  Still right now the wound is still so fresh and new. And I must pick up pieces of my broken heart, dust them off and super glue them back together. The shape of my heart will never be the same, but it will be stronger and capable to trust, love, and give again.

Crushed

It's the end of the day and I'm as crushed now if not more than when Jeremy told me we would not be continuing this journey together.  My trust is so broken and i still want my baby.  It hurts I can't do this with my friend, but doesn't leave me many options.  Now all I really want is to fall asleep.

Devastating News but that seems to be the trend

Jeremy is now out of the picture.  I won't go into details because I'm too numb and hurt right now...

Good Read: it starts with the egg

This is a must read for 40+ women ttc!  We are always told we're a statistic with no hope and I believe that is such bullshit.  This book gives you a better view of what you can not do and what you can do for best egg quality.  

It's true no women likes to be reminded her age... That's not necessarily a vain thing.  Especially when you are trying to get pregnant.  We know are age and a remembrance by someone can be crushing and insulting as if we're some type of antique.  You are a jewel.  I am a jewel.  Don't give up and don't give in!

CD9- Labor Day 2016

No ovulation surge yet and in so happy as later in the week works best for me! Since my miscarriage in July, I tend to ovulate later. This month I can't get a hold of my midwife Jhoanna.  I know she's super busy, looks like I'm on my own this cycle; no iui. I'm calling Dr Gupta first thing in the morning to see if I can comeback and get an order for clomid and an ultrasound to keep watch on my lining. I know Jeremy is concerned and so am I.  It's frustrating if I let each roadblock get to me.  The one thing I can't change is my age, but honestly I font believe that is a problem.  I pray this cycle works and I carry to term.

Three Weeks and Five Days

Being pregnant again is so awesome and I pray and thank God for blessing me with the life growing inside me. Today is father's day and I am happy that J is the baby's father because he is just an awesome and wonderful person. It's amazing how our lives crossed and now we're welcoming life into ours.

Whaaaaat?!

I'm almost sure I'm positive I'm falling in love.

Belly Newness

The journey continues with the wonderful J. Before I had hoped to eventually meet my soul mate, never did I think I would find the other person who was born to be the father of my children. It's been a few weeks, but I knew when I met him that he had all the qualities I look for in the father of my children and for me. I have no romantic expectations, but I would not turn any down either. J is totally beautiful inside and out. We embark along this journey this week. I've learned a lot about myself. I have a clean bill of health from my gyno and my FSH is decent, not great but decent. I've been taking Pregnitude for almost a month and have also been taking wheat grass shots, coq 10 and DHEA. This week I had my first appointment with a TCM acupunturist and had been prescribed with medicine to help me create better blood flow to my uterus

Pregnitude

Day Three of Pregnitude and I still have quite the journey ahead of me.